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Acceptance and Loveby Patti L. Auber, published August 2013
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I’ve been thinking lately about what I perceive as a
national attitude of mean-spiritedness that seems to pervade our discourse
these days. If you don’t think like I
do, I guess I have the right to ridicule you or to cast aspersions upon your
intelligence. And just to make sure we
know who deserves our ridicule, we pay people big bucks to tell us—on television
or radio, from the pulpit, through advertising messages, and from the words of
our political leaders. (And of course
there’s the Internet, that oracle of every snippet of non-factual fact, and
unsubstantiated tidbit of misinformed information.) You see, they all tell us, there’s this small
cluster of “us” who understands how things should be, and then there’s this
great big crowd of “them” who don’t think like we do, politically, religiously,
ethnically, economically or culturally, and who are a danger to our very way of
life. If we let “them” get the upper
hand, it just won’t be the way it used to be—the way we know it was clearly
meant to be. If those “thems” have their
way, they will infringe on our rights and destroy our sacred institutions. We won’t be able to live the way we want any
more—which of course we believe is the only right way to live. We are fearful, and our fear makes us distrustful,
skeptical, and resentful. Our fear keeps our focus narrow—to within the small
circle of trusted people who share our opinions. And our narrow focus means that our understanding
of who is in that circle gets smaller as well.
Smaller, and colder, and meaner.
This isn’t the way I want to live! I want to live in a world where people respect others’ beliefs, even if they don’t agree with them. Where civility is given the highest priority. Where people seek to learn from each other through considered and thoughtful discourse. Where we all respect each other’s inherent worth and dignity. I want a world with understanding and kindness. Where getting even is less important than being fair. Where people are less concerned with what they ought to be getting, and more concerned with what they ought to be giving. Where we spend more time embracing our similarities instead of magnifying our differences. And where the circle of “us” gets larger and larger, until eventually it embraces the entire world!
Is this a risky way to think? I suspect it is. It means things will undoubtedly change. It means that we make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt and disappointed sometimes. It means that we have to look each other in the eye and talk deeply and from the heart. We will have to continually challenge old assumptions. We will have to extend a welcoming hand even to those we don’t fully understand or agree with. We have to find common ground, because, dear reader, this common ground is really all we’ve got.
It’s tempting to want to stay with the things I know, to be comfortable. I’d rather listen to the old music than try to understand that new stuff. It’s comforting to keep my house the same, even though things may be looking a little dated. It’s less confusing to hold on to old technology rather than dive into figuring out the latest gadgets. It’s also easier to surround ourselves with those familiar to us than try to understand someone different. But that just ain’t Life, is it folks? Things do change. The millennium changed, and brought with it a whole new set of challenges around how we need to be together on this planet. Those challenges demand new inventions and conventions, new assumptions and presumptions, all of which must be discussed, worked through, and ultimately understood as our new reality. We either get on with it, or we let the world pass us by.
So for me, I prefer to be less judgmental of my fellow passengers on Spaceship Earth. I prefer to trust even though I may occasionally have my trust betrayed. I prefer to extend the hand of friendship knowing that I may open myself to rejection and scorn by those too frightened to reciprocate. I prefer to believe that, just like me, most folks are simply trying to get along the best way they can. I believe that when I broaden my understanding of others, and of this diverse and amazing planet, I move forward on that great spiritual quest I was assigned at my birth. And the wider my circle becomes, the more there will be to love.
He drew a circle that shut me out --
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in.
~Outwitted, by Edwin Markham
This isn’t the way I want to live! I want to live in a world where people respect others’ beliefs, even if they don’t agree with them. Where civility is given the highest priority. Where people seek to learn from each other through considered and thoughtful discourse. Where we all respect each other’s inherent worth and dignity. I want a world with understanding and kindness. Where getting even is less important than being fair. Where people are less concerned with what they ought to be getting, and more concerned with what they ought to be giving. Where we spend more time embracing our similarities instead of magnifying our differences. And where the circle of “us” gets larger and larger, until eventually it embraces the entire world!
Is this a risky way to think? I suspect it is. It means things will undoubtedly change. It means that we make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt and disappointed sometimes. It means that we have to look each other in the eye and talk deeply and from the heart. We will have to continually challenge old assumptions. We will have to extend a welcoming hand even to those we don’t fully understand or agree with. We have to find common ground, because, dear reader, this common ground is really all we’ve got.
It’s tempting to want to stay with the things I know, to be comfortable. I’d rather listen to the old music than try to understand that new stuff. It’s comforting to keep my house the same, even though things may be looking a little dated. It’s less confusing to hold on to old technology rather than dive into figuring out the latest gadgets. It’s also easier to surround ourselves with those familiar to us than try to understand someone different. But that just ain’t Life, is it folks? Things do change. The millennium changed, and brought with it a whole new set of challenges around how we need to be together on this planet. Those challenges demand new inventions and conventions, new assumptions and presumptions, all of which must be discussed, worked through, and ultimately understood as our new reality. We either get on with it, or we let the world pass us by.
So for me, I prefer to be less judgmental of my fellow passengers on Spaceship Earth. I prefer to trust even though I may occasionally have my trust betrayed. I prefer to extend the hand of friendship knowing that I may open myself to rejection and scorn by those too frightened to reciprocate. I prefer to believe that, just like me, most folks are simply trying to get along the best way they can. I believe that when I broaden my understanding of others, and of this diverse and amazing planet, I move forward on that great spiritual quest I was assigned at my birth. And the wider my circle becomes, the more there will be to love.
He drew a circle that shut me out --
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in.
~Outwitted, by Edwin Markham