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Step by Step

by Patti L. Auber, published July 2013

Did you ever notice that sometimes it’s hard to stay true to even those things that you have the most passion for?  Doesn’t it seem that all manner of little stuff gets in the way?  In my case, I know I sometimes use those trivial things as an excuse for not facing that very thing that I believe I most want to do.  I putter.  I can busily putter away hours and hours of a day.  I’ll get started in just a few minutes, I tell myself, just as soon as I check FaceBook and Pinterest, and answer a couple of quick emails.  By the end of the day, I find that I have cleaned out junk drawers, organized closets, trimmed and repotted the house plants, and cleared the fridge of old leftovers.  I admit I get a great deal of satisfaction from that kind of puttering, but what I really wanted to do was dive into that formidable art project that I’m not really sure exactly how to accomplish.  The very thing that will stretch me.  The project that is still sitting in pieces on my worktable in the studio. 

My brother had a birthday recently.  He’s a couple of years younger than me, but has had some health challenges.  We were discussing the fact that we’re both getting older.  He chuckled and said his doctor told him not to “buy any green bananas.”  He meant it to be funny, but it reminded me that now is not the time to fritter away my days.  I don’t know if I have enough time left to allow my bananas to ripen.  None of us know that, right?  I do know that I want to accomplish a few more things before I check out.  I want to learn some more, as well. 

So, what’s the answer here?  How do we keep on keeping on in the right direction even though the way is difficult and isn’t all that clear?  It seems so overwhelming sometimes when we’re just plain exhausted and battle weary. 

Sometimes I let negative messages get into my head.  You know the ones I mean.  The messages that say I’m not good enough, don’t have enough talent, don’t have the resources, should have started younger, and am making a fool of myself.  I start to think that I’m never going to be able to make it, so why keep trying?  Cut your losses, you foolish old biddy, and go watch TV. 

I believe that it’s not the destination that really matters.  It’s the journey.  I am reminded of a song by one of my heroes, Harry Chapin, an amazing songwriter, singer and humanitarian who was taken from us too soon, but left an incredible legacy of insightful lyrics I’m still learning from over twenty years later.  In his song, Greyhound you’ll find these lines:

Stepping off this dirty bus first time I understood

It's got to be the going not the getting there that's good
That's a thought for keeping if I could.
It's got to be the going not the getting there that's good.


It’s got to be the going, not the getting there…the fact is, I don’t ever have to “get there.”  All I really have to do is keep moving in the direction I need to go and let the destination take care of itself.  If little steps are all I can take, then little steps are good enough.  In fact, each step becomes a destination.   

I think that’s a strategy that we all can use for any overwhelming journey, whether it’s miles or mental.  Shorten your focus.  Don’t try to see that far off destination so insurmountably distant.  Just look at the next step, and then take it.  For every step you take, celebrate it.  Enjoy what you’ve accomplished and feel pleasure and satisfaction in it.  Be kind to yourself and make the journey good.  Allow yourself to remember the excitement you felt when you chose this direction.  If the final destination is still out of sight beyond the horizon ahead of you, why then look back over your shoulder in amazement to see how far you’ve come!  And then take another step.   

I guess philosophically, we have to learn the difficult lesson that we will never reach our destination.  For every goal achieved, there is another goal that lies ahead.  The finish line is always moving.  We only journey on—away from what we know and have accomplished, toward the unfamiliar and what must yet be learned.  Maybe the purpose of our life is to learn that one important lesson.  Life is only about the journey.  Maybe learning that is what enables us to leave this life with acceptance and gratitude, and move on with outstretched arms in anticipation of that greatest of unknowns. 

 

Citation:  "Greyhound" as written by Harry F. Chapin, Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

The song can be found on Story of a Life, a posthumous compilation album released in 1999.